Mistletoe in Britain – a review paper

Almost the end of January, so it will soon be mistletoe flowering season and, of course, mistletoe seed germination season. That’s one of the many odd things about mistletoe – it flowers and germinates in late winter, the season when most plants are merely beginning to plan such energetic activities.

If you’re interested in reading more about this and other odd mistletoe stuff there’s a new review, published just a month ago, in the journal British & Irish Botany. It is, as the author (me) says in the opening paragraphs, “by no means an exhaustive review”. In other words a lot more could be said, but the paper gives, I hope, a reasonable overview of the concepts and issues. It certainly covers a lot of ground and took a while to compile.

There will be, within a few months, another mistletoe review paper in the Journal of Ecology, as part of the Biological Flora of the British Isles series. More about that one – a collaborative paper – when it’s ready.

Are there Nargles in your mistletoe?

If you’re worried about Nargles in your mistletoe then you’ve probably been reading too much Harry Potter, for that’s the only world where they occur. If indeed they occur at all.

Even in the Potter world the only evidence of their existence is from Luna Lovegood, a fellow Hogwarts student, who suggests they are mischievous beings who steal things. And often live in mistletoe.

Her mistletoe remarks are made in Chapter 21 of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. Harry is discovered alone in a roomful of Christmas decorations by Luna. She points out he is standing under some mistletoe. As he hastily retreats she suggests that he’s wise to do so as ‘it’s often infested with Nargles’. Harry has never heard of Nargles but doesn’t admit this.

Three pages later he’s in the same spot, but this time alone with Cho Chang, a young lady who has made it clear she, er, likes him. She, like Luna, mentions that he’s standing under the mistletoe. Harry warns her that ‘it’s probably full of Nargles’ but admits to her he has no idea what Nargles are. This time he doesn’t retreat, throws caution to the wind and kisses Cho, despite the risk of Nargles. [the film version is on Youtube here]

But what is a Nargle? No-one seems to know – they’re never explained and the implication, from other remarks, is that they are either non-existent (i.e. made up by Luna) or extinct or, possibly, just very elusive. In some of the (many) analyses of J K Rowling’s storylines online there are suggestions that maybe Luna made them up to avoid awkward situations – such as meeting Harry Potter under the mistletoe.

So that’s all clear. Nargles are possibly a fictional invention of a fictional character in a fictional world. But if they did exist, in the fictional world, they would infest mistletoe and steal things.

Nothing to worry about really. You’re far more likely to have one of the UK’s six mistletoe insects in your mistletoe. Of which my favourite is the Mistletoe Weevil Ixapion variegatum. Perhaps these are Nargles – they always look fairly mischievous to me. Though, being only a few millimetres long, it’s difficult to imagine them stealing much:

Mistletoe at Longney, plus a wannabe Road Runner pheasant

A quick wander round the orchards at Longney, south of Gloucester, today. These are the orchards managed by the Gloucestershire Orchard Trust – two old surviving orchards, called Long Tyning and Bollow and two newly planted orchards called, less excitingly, Middle and Lower. All adjoining the upper reaches of the tidal Severn.

Today was primarily to see how the mistletoe there is faring – and what management might be needed this winter.

Beautiful weather, unseasonably mild and with a bit of sun now and then, so no need to dress up warm. There were lots of small growths of mistletoe here and there, much of it showing a good crop of berries, not too much of it and not too little. Just the balance we need – though there will be some pruning in the next couple of months.

In Bollow, the part nearest the river, I was ambushed, as usual, by the sheep who surrounded me as soon as I appeared. Perhaps to say hello but more likely hoping I had brought food. I hadn’t so they were, as usual, disappointed.

The next event was more unusual – the sheep were joined by a cock pheasant, behaving as if he was the leader of the gang, vociferously clucking at me all the time. Odd, but just one of those things – or so I thought at first…

That pheasant then never left my side for the next 20 minutes, trotting at my heel like a dog, but occasionally lunging at me. Was he hungry or was he being aggressive? He was certainly persistent. If I ran he ran, big wide steps reminiscent of Road Runner but without the Beep Beep. Did he think I was Wile E. Coyote? I tried faux swerves through the trees to shake him off but he always caught up, sometimes even got ahead. Very odd. I do hope no one was watching.

He was so persistent and, at times, so threatening (that beak looked sharp!) that I abandoned my plan to investigate the partially fallen mistletoe-laden riverside poplar, for which I would need to crouch down. I wasn’t letting that beak anywhere near my head!

I finally shook him off by returning to the barn in the middle of the orchards and fooling him into a corner where he couldn’t follow easily because of a netting fence.

I never did find out what he wanted – but maybe it was just a peck on the cheek under the mistletoe?

Grow your own peck on the cheek with a Mistletoe Grow-Kit from the English Mistletoe Shop.

The tip-jar (new for 2021, not quite sure about this!)

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The innocence of H1N1 and mistletoe

Discussing the mistletoe kissing crisis with a reporter recently I recalled the ‘Kissing Etiquette’ devised by Debretts, in conjunction with the Tenbury Mistletoe Festival, back in 2009. That was in the winter of the H1N1 Swine Flu Pandemic – a time that seems so innocent now.

As does the kissing advice of the day – which was, basically, that kissing on the cheeks is more hygienic that on the mouth. Which is very probably true. But it is still actual face-to-face touching, which seems unthinkable advice in these times of face-masks and social distancing. I suspect that there was only limited epidemiological content in Debretts advice at the time! They did suggest that if you felt ill you shouldn’t be at the party (what party?) in the first place – an instruction that also seems a little naïve now.

But if you were felt ok and so were attending a gathering the under-the-mistletoe technique suggested was, having asked for permission first, to do a cheek-to-cheek. Going for the other person’s right cheek first and then the other side. Keeping both encounters brief. Not something that would be recommended now. Apart from for fellow household members, obviously.

Debretts now, in a recent blog on The Return of the Mask make it very clear that they fully support mask-wearing and that it is good practice to wear one and to practice social distancing.

There’s no mention in that blog of kissing or indeed mistletoe. Too tricky to tackle perhaps. But I suspect, if they were to devise an etiquette for that now it would be much more complex than in 2009.

With perhaps a suggestion that a first step would be asking if there was permission for the gathering(!). Secondly swapping info on recent test results and level of vaccination. And thirdly, if the first two answers are satisfactory, asking whether the other person would prefer a mistletoe elbow bump, or foot-tap, or an air-kiss. Through a mask – across two metres.

The elbow-bump seems to be quite popular, though it is worth making sure you are not being presumptuous, always be sure the other party wants to greet you like this:

Plan ahead for a post-covid world – start growing your own mistletoe kisses by buying a Mistletoe Grow-Kit from the English Mistletoe Shop.

Mistletoe Mysteries

There are dozens, possibly hundreds, of novels with mistletoe in the title, though they are, mostly, romantic fiction and I tend to ignore those. But I was reminded, recently, of P.D.James’ The Mistletoe Murder (published in The Spectator in 1991 and in anthology The Mistletoe Murder and Other Stories in 2016) and realised I couldn’t remember the plot, particularly the mistletoe bit, assuming there is one.

So I re-read it yesterday and re-found, to my disappointment, that mistletoe only has a bit part. Indeed the un-named narrator (the inference being it is P.D.James herself, though the biographical details don’t match) acknowledges this from the start, excusing the title on the basis that she likes alliteration. The story is a classic country house mystery with a body in the locked library. The sole role given to mistletoe is a place to hide a key, an action that is given away by the clue of some dislodged berries on the floor below the library door. Which is fine, except that, in reality, mistletoe berries mostly stay in place. But fiction is fiction (assuming of course, that in this case it is…).

To make up for the disappointment I looked out more stories of mysterious mistletoe misconduct and seized upon The Necklace of Pearls, a story by Dorothy L Sayers (a chapter in the anthology Hangman’s Holiday published in 1933). No mention of mistletoe in the title but it does play a major role. This story is also set in a country house where, after dinner one Christmas, a string of pearls is found to be missing. Lord Peter Wimsey, the aristocrat detective, takes charge and everyone is searched. No pearls are found. But Wimsey works it out. A day or two later he gets his man by showing that the pearls had been pinned to some mistletoe, where they would look just like berries, to be collected at leisure. Ingenious. Though not really that unusual, not for us mistletoe people anyway. When I used to supply mistletoe I often had summer time requests from advertisers doing Christmas shoots for TV or magazines. They wanted real mistletoe, but in August. This could be supplied, no problem, but of course it wouldn’t have the pearlescent white berries that make it extra distinctive. So we would advise them to glue or pin artificial pearls onto the plants, no-one would tell the difference as long as it was only a background decoration.

Grow your own pearlescent berries with a Mistletoe Grow-Kit from the English Mistletoe Shop.

Omicron! Snog, Mistletoe, Avoid?

Having never watched the BBC TV Series ‘Snog Marry Avoid?” I know very little about it, except that it is about whether someone is more, or less, attractive after a make-over.

Nicking the concept for Covid-19 variants, I wonder whether someone standing under mistletoe this December will be more, or less, attractive now that we have the Omicron variant.

Less attractive is, logically, the answer, and now we have a relatively sensible government minister (a puzzling paradox!) who is advising people not to kiss under mistletoe. Thérèse Coffey has said,:

“For what it’s worth, I don’t think there should be much snogging under the mistletoe.”

So is Thérèse a Health Minister? No, she’s the Work and Pensions Secretary. The Health Minister Sajid Javid has said people shouldn’t change plans for gatherings but should consider a lateral flow test before attending. Prime Minister Boris Johnson (an even more puzzling paradox!) has dismissed scientific advice and told people to carry partying. So that’s clear then, Sajid and Boris say party on, despite advice to the contrary, Thérèse suggests (on the Peston ITV programme, 1^st Dec, about 45 minutes if with ads) active avoidance of risks.

This may be good for people’s health, but it’s not good for the mistletoe custom or the mistletoe trade.

This issue was, of course, similar last year when we emerged from lockdown at the start of December only to find ourselves in three, later four, levels of restrictions, with Christmas gatherings eventually severely restricted.

There was relatively little kissing under mistletoe then – and perhaps there’ll be even less this time round. Apart from those within your immediate household – but only doing that ruins the concept for many!

Interestingly the impact on demand last year was never actually assessed. It would be difficult to do, but I will see what I can find out…

In the meantime here’s a link (to Sky’s facebook page) to my interview on Sky News, 12 months ago, discussing exactly this issue (though then the Tenbury Mistletoe Auctions had been cancelled, this year they’ve gone ahead). There are some good bits about mistletoe air-kissing and mistletoe elbow-bumping. [Probably best to ignore most of the comments though!]

Mistletoe Auction Time

The first Mistletoe Auction of the year takes place tomorrow morning, which to many means the proper start of the mistletoe season.

The auctions are run by Nick Champion and are held at at Burford House Garden Centre, Burford, Tenbury Wells, WR15 8HQ. Details on Nick’s website nickchampion.co.uk but shortcut for buyers is nickchampion.co.uk/site/assets/files/1015/buyers_information_2021.pdf and for sellers (too late for tomorrow now but there’s another next week!) is nickchampion.co.uk/site/assets/files/1015/sellers_information_2021.pdf.

The berries are already nice and white – and there’ll be more mistletoe news here soon.

It’ll be mistletoe time again soon

With just a few days until October, we’re yet again at the start of the mistletoe season. So it is perhaps time for a quick review of how things are looking this time round:

As is fairly usual these days, there’s a reasonable crop of berries forming, so it could be another good year for quality mistletoe. This seems to be the norm, and indeed there is research that suggests berry numbers per branch don’t, often, change much from year to year.

This might seem surprising – but, assuming pollination is successful, shouldn’t be when you consider how the plant grows. Each branch divides into two exactly once a year and each of those two new branches has identical terminal flower buds, every year. So there shouldn’t, logically, be much alteration in number of flowers, for any given section of branch, year on year, as the pattern and number of flower buds stays exactly the same. The main variant will be the amount of insect pollination of each flower in February/March and in the mild winters we get these days insect availability, for this essential role is, it seems, always sufficient.

There are other variables in ‘quality’ of course such as the green-ness of the leaves (many plants are yellowy-green and of less value even with berries) and the legginess of the branches (compact short internodes seem more attractive) and whether male mistletoe (which never has berries) has been mixed in with the female.

All of this is relevant to mistletoe sales, the most well-known of which are the auctions at Tenbury Wells, cancelled last year because of the pandemic. There was, at that time, much talk of mistletoe shortages as a result, but my impression was the reality was different, and there was still plenty of mistletoe to be had. This does highlight the fact that, contrary to popular belief (especially in the media), the Tenbury auctions are not the only way to trade mistletoe! Indeed most of what’s seen in supermarkets and greengrocers may not be from Tenbury at all, and might not even be of British origin. Imports of mistletoe from mainland Europe have been significant since the late 19th century. It’s not all about Tenbury.

That last point might imply new and different trouble ahead – because the UK has left the EU trading bloc. Last autumn the UK was still in the ‘transition period’, not actually in the EU but still with freedom of trade. That ended in January 2021 and new rules on trade are now in place – or would be if the Government didn’t keep kicking them into the long grass rather than tackling the problem they’ve made.

For cut mistletoe, assuming it is classified as a cut flower, the rules are, at first sight, simple. Cut flowers originating in the EU have a zero-rated import tariff, so basic prices should not go up (though 8% tariffs were expected at one point in the discussions). That sounds good, but it’s not quite that simple, as there is still paperwork that wasn’t needed before – customs forms etc. This requires more work, adds more cost and reduces the attractiveness of the trade.

The paperwork might get very onerous if phytosanitary certification is needed. Leaving the EU means that the UK is now longer in the same phytosanitary area and imports and exports of plants or plant parts, may need such certification*. Indeed this was, and still is, the plan for cut flowers, with phytosanitary inspections due to have started last April. Happily, for this Christmas season at least, this isn’t yet needed, as the deadline for starting inspections of cut flowers has, like many other deadlines, been extended, in this case to January 2022.

So there will, in theory, be no major barrier for mistletoe imported from EU countries this season. But I wouldn’t be surprised if less is sent, as the rules, and the constant changing of dates, can be very confusing. This isn’t new, there were trading tariffs and restrictions on mistletoe at many times in the past 100-150 years, but there have been none in recent decades, none in living memory for most traders.

Meanwhile, back at Tenbury Wells, business is, everyone hopes, back to normal this season. Auctions are planned for Tuesday 23rd November and Tuesday 30th November. Run, as usual, by Nick Champion: https://nickchampion.co.uk/auctions/holly-and-mistletoe/

*PS The need for phytosanitary certification is definitely interfering with some aspects of the mistletoe trade. The Grow-Kits marketed by the English Mistletoe Shop for example, like most products sent as seeds for growing, can no longer be sent to the EU or even, at present, Northern Ireland, without individual inspection of each by a UK government inspector, with significant cost each time. There’s no suggestion that they would fail the inspection, but the additional time and cost involves simply makes the process non-viable.

A tale of two mistletoes

There’s a new mistletoe species here at Mistletoe Towers, all the way from Africa originally. Though this particular set of seeds came from, er, Malvern.

It is Viscum minimum, related to our familiar Viscum album, but, as the name suggests, a much reduced plant. Tiny actually.

I haven’t ever grown it before, though have seen several specimens grown indoors. For it isn’t an outdoor species, not here in Europe, as its hosts are tropical succulents. Euphorbias in fact, themselves related to the familiar milky-juiced plants of gardens and woodlands. In Africa succulent Euphorbias occupy a similar niche to the cacti of North America. Thick-stemmed, often rounded, plants with minimal leaves, adapted for life in very dry conditions. They are often mistaken for cacti.

V.minimum, also succulent and minimally-leaved, is a wonderful example of how the mistletoes are adapted to a huge range of hosts. It lives within the tissue of the Euphorbia, with minuscule succulent leaves of its own, on the host surface. The biggest features are the flowers, followed by red berries, also close to the host surface.

My plants are, at present, simply germinating seeds, not much to look at yet. Only time will tell if they get established. So far they look, not surprisingly, very similar to Viscum album seedlings (see pic of one of those on the right). They are nearly 2 months old now and there are three that look promising. But none have yet established a hold fast on the host, so nothing is yet certain.

The pictures below show two completely different Euphorbias on which Viscum minimum seeds have been placed. There are close-ups of the germinating seeds. Note how much the two Euphorbias have grown in the 2 months I’ve had them. Much faster growing than cacti. Though they haven’t been slowed down by the mistletoe yet…